Questioning after questioning… it never stops

Today is Monday, I am at the moment flying over Erbil, Iraq, high up in the air on my way back home from Dubai to Prague. It is 11:25 Dubai local time and I am sitting on the second floor of this huge airplane on the wobbling tray table, therefore as you know, it is the perfect time for writing the blog.

And it is Tuesday, I somehow didn’t feel good about what I had written yesterday on the flight, so I will transform and edit my text here today. Sometimes it is good not to rush and sleep on a text. It is like the emotions: when we have one instead of immediately reacting, maybe it is good to stay with the emotion for a while to feel what other things they stir up inside of us. So everything you will read in italic will be from today and everything else from yesterday :) Enjoy the reading. And enjoy the photos from the forest today. I decided to re-write the blog while I was having my daily walk with Gigi of course :)

I hope that you have had a very good weekend dear readers. What could I mean by good weekend? We always ask these questions to each other or make these wishes: Are you having a good day? Did you have a good weekend?

What do we really mean by that? Do we have a clear mindset when we ask such a question? Or are we really curious and care for the other and want to know if the other person is well, or having a good time? Right now I am asking you: Do you have a clear intention when you ask someone: “Did you have a good weekend?” Maybe we don’t or maybe we do but vaguely. So, just as a little tease, let us think now together. I would like to define the intention and curiosity behind my question about having a good weekend. It may even sound like a mini hidden expectation, but it is an honest and sincere, unpretentious inquiry: For me the good weekend would mean a sweet rest, time spent in laughter, inner calmness, good food, moments of love, some thoughts of peace for the world, little gardening, seeing or hearing loved ones, having well served at least one person, and finding peace in being, just simply “being”. 

This is my definition of good today in relationship to the weekend. So, dear reader, did you have a good weekend? I can’t hear your answer, and neither can I know if you ask me this question back. But I will just imagine that you had a good weekend. I always write imagining you as a reader but I never get any answers back.

Where is the Somatic Dialogue in all this? I am always thrilled by a true relational space that can foster a dialogue between two people. The same dialogue space can exist in ourselves with our “selves”. This space becomes magical when there is as little judgement as possible, or at least of the judgement is accompanied by respect and some consciousness. 

This weekend I was completely out of my comfort zone, as is the popular term. I was amongst 300 people belonging to a closed network, in a very big hotel, with a packed program on the well-being, wellness and health of humans. I had the opportunity to listen and witness a lot of precious experts who came to generously share their knowledge with everyone. I was grateful to be one of them, and I could lead participants into the world of Somatic Dialogue.

I have left my little temple, my studio in Prague, where one on one encounters happen in depth, or where little groups swim in shared waters. I am used to being in my quiet space, empty space-visually as well as energetically- and perceive and hear and work with the clients who want to work with me. It is a safe and very comfortable space. I love it, and am very grateful to be working in such a space, held by many things  and also by the beautiful floor, which connects to the ground, which connects to the earth. 

I found myself completely out of this space this weekend and had to therefore trust more and more my inner space and my embodied experience. The people around me however were all in their comfort zones, in a zone that they knew very well and in which they were flowing, being in control, talking, networking, sharing, exchanging and learning etc. 

I found myself a lot observing them, how they are, how their bodies speak, what are they really talking about? What is being exchanged? They were like fish in the water and I was the odd one out of the water. It was an interesting learning experience:  still processing what I have learned.  How much have I resisted? How uncomfortable was I? 

I stayed as sincere as I could, and therefore can only sincerely question my weekend. I served the best I could from my heart and stayed in my inner space. I invited the participants to connect to their inner space, guiding them step by step through the joint exercises, working on making them feel the connection of their weight with gravity and gradually taking it to a playful level. Somatic Dialoguers will know exactly what I am talking about. The participants were fully there, I was fully there for them and the encounter happened. We met in the space, in the movement and in the music, each one remaining in their inner world. 

More questions? Being in this big event made me question myself again: Why am I doing it? And what happens when I serve this path? Does the encounter really happen? All these questions allowed me to discover yet another layer of observation, another layer of accepting what is happening: of seeing what is happening in others when they move, and what could happen if they had the chance to feel what happens in them when they move and act. 

What have I learned? It is not so easy to walk on the ground inside of our bodies. In our body’s inner space are also the fields of information, trees holding skilled fruits, caves to be discovered, raw materials to be cherished and transformed. Rather tend to see the potential in others and are influenced by it and want to relate to them.  

But how can we relate to another person if we are unable to relate to our body? 

How can we feel the other person or life around us if we are unsure of how we feel? How can we trust and feel the trust to another person if we have not felt the trust in our body?

Why do we avoid ourselves, and yet want to live longer and longer?

Why do we avoid our inner landscape and intervene so much on our outer one? 

Why can’t we accept how we age and transform and want to look younger and younger? 

Why are we so afraid of walking through an unknown meadow? 

Why do we prefer to measure, to bring certainty, to protect and to spend our time finding the easy way looking for solutions which are only temporary? 

Why go through all the stress, the anxiety of protecting and controlling what we have established and earned?  

Do we really have control? 

How about controlling our greed and thirst for more?

These questions may be too bold but actually I find them very helpful in re-evaluating my values once in a while. in really reflecting on what decisions I am making, how do I exist in the world that I have created for myself, and into which many others enter?

I am infinitely grateful to everyone in my life who has taught me to listen, to listen more, to listen from my heart, to listen being present. 

I am grateful to my age, which enabled me to mature into a more embodied presence, so that I can choose if I speak or not speak out my truth. 

I am grateful to my inner compass that tickles me when I am on uncertain grounds and reminds me of the ground beneath my feet and who reminds me to stay humble. 

I am endlessly grateful for the eyes and hearts that  do not turn away, for the minutes, hours and days gifted with genuine interest and listening. 

I am deeply grateful especially to some beautiful women and men, with whom I met in the moment, deeply, entering a time and consciousness of Muhabbet. 

Who are they? Well, if ever they will read this blog, they will know who they are, because we were there together. 

And if they do not read it they will remember.

And you dear reader now know that something very special happened to me this weekend: A weekend of unknown tastes, beautiful encounters where love was flowing, a lot of unanswered questions, continuous questions and a lot of learning

I humbly walk on the ground that Somatic Dialogue maintains in me. 

How does YOUR ground feel today?

Did you have a good weekend?

Stay in love!

As Love must B

PS: I haven’t written one single line for the book this weekend but during the week I have advanced on one more chapter. But after this weekend I will continue with full passion and presence. Let us all see what the week brings to us.