Heart work - can it be hard work?

My heart is on fire

My heart can even ache once on fire

The heart speaks its language to the ears that find the way

to listen, not always can they hear.

My heart is on fire

My heart can give me such a space

that tears flow and wash my thoughts

dissolving into oblivion

My heart is on fire

making me run, stumble, fall,

giving me courage to go on, falling better, stumbling turning into a dance

rhythm accompanies my heart steadily

Then comes a moment when the heart says: STOP, stand still and give me some space. Take care of me as I work for you day and night, I clean your brain and lungs, I am the alchemist of your thoughts and your body. I am one of your faithful partners, an indispensable one, a unique one, you are stuck with me until.. well, until I leave you.

I have been talking with my heart lately, a sort of inner talk, an intimate one, the kind of talk one doesn’t really find the words to describe. But if I were a person (which I am) and my heart was a person, and I would say something to them… they would just look at me with a sincere smile, because they would understand.

Sometimes a smile and that spark in the eyes says all the words which do not exist. It is like when the heart looks at you intensely from the inside and sighs. In other words, like my daughter looking at me with a smile that makes my heart quiver so much that I feel it is growing, after she tells me that she is also reading my blogs. That sweetness in her eyes… (in these moments I wish I would master the English language better, because I am sure that there must be words other writers and poets came up with when describing that kind of a warm smile and loving look.)

All this heart talk grew so much in me that I decided to attend a Yoga workshop this weekend on Saturday. A one day workshop given by my dear colleagues Katrin Kohler and Steffen Boehme. Yes, more colleagues for whom my heart is beating. 

Who are Katrin and Steffen? First of all they are a charming couple. A man and a woman, deeply in love, lovingly together, together working, creating, and co-facilitating, exploring and transforming. They are from the 1st generation of  certified Somatic Dialogue Facilitators. I remember how we were speaking of the common philosophical similarities they were mentioning from their Yoga experiences and what they were experiencing from the Somatic Dialogue training. It was also interesting for me to see two experienced Yoga instructors transform into passionate improvisers. I love witnessing them dance.

One very clear image remained in me: I think we were talking about the inner caressing principle (by the way you will find a whole chapter on this theme in the book), and Katrin said, that their master in Yoga had been giving the image that the breath caresses the trachea or commonly known as the windpipe, and continues to caress the lungs and caressingly leaves the body again through the nose or the mouth. 

What a charming image isn't it?... When you think about it, your breathing changes immediately.

What happened then? Well I have many more memories with Katrin and Steffen, as they were honoring us with their presence in most of the workshops at Limpid Works. Their openness to everyone, the relationship they have with each other even during the work, and the fabulously delicious cakes and salads they would bring to all the common buffets of the workshops definitely marked each and everyone of the participants.

But what happened to me during their workshop? Well this is what I was going to tell you.

So, finally my heart talks led me to register for their workshop. I was looking forward to surrendering myself to their lead, and just do what is asked of me to do. Yes this has become one of the ways I love to relax: just to have someone be present for me, suggest to me what to do and be there for me caringly. 

And this is what happened! You will say, and that’s it? Well yes that’s it. And much more: what happened was that I didn’t even think of the refined structure that they had been thinking about for this occasion. My fast working observing mind came to a standstill. I was silent, my ears opened, I had no resistance, no doubt, so reaction, and instead just followed happily, at my pace all their words, and my body just did what was asked to be done… and my breath…. oh breath just caressed me inside out!

Katrin and Steffen are THE couple whose workshop you want to attend, and even if you don’t know about it:) I strongly advise to do so: movers, non movers, experienced ones or beginners doesn’t matter. Because through Yoga they speak to the heart, and make your heart speak to you.

I have worked not only my tired body and relaxed, tonified, but also my inner space, it transformed. It started slowly and by the end of the day a full emptiness remained in all of my being. My eyes relaxed, my thoughts were flowing like a gentle stream that is hardly heard, and whose sound is rather like sweet music than noise, and my emotions were satisfying. I felt available again to myself and to the world.

The importance of being available. It is often misunderstood that being available is often coupled with giving oneself, being used, or sacrificing…however first of all I believe that we should be available for ourselves, so that we can hear what our being says, how it feels, what it thinks. Being available to our loved ones, when they want a caress. Shall we just ignore it or stop for a while and meet that affectionate moment? For instance right now Gigi is lying beside me and she opened her belly, which means : stop and caress me! 

I have just come back to writing after a thorough cuddle with Gigi. I have realized in this short cuddle, that my memory took me back to the times, when I was too busy to stop and play with my daughter, when I was not available to hear my husband, when I was not available to give time to my parents, to my brother, always thinking that there will be time. I was just not there in my time, in the things that life was presenting to me.

And I guess that hard work of the “heart work” is to be present and to be available when love calls for one’s attention. Actually when we stop and think about what is really important… the answer is clear, and then follow the “but”s. Oh dear this blog turns out to be a confession… no - not really. 

Actually writing and allowing the body to write its story through movement is quite hard work, I must admit. It demands dedication, discipline and a lot of courage to dig into the heart, to see what is there to bring forth and to let it be shaped by fingers or the body. And for me these two actions go hand in hand. I no longer like just dancing, or just writing, but they are intimately connected, like two lovers who would never leave each other, because the movement of one nourishes the other.

As I am here these weeks writing about my process of writing the book and our little but slowly growing community, I couldn’t help wondering why I am doing this? Is this for marketing? NO! Is it for “being important”? NO!

Is it for the sheer pleasure of writing about the people who I like? YES partly. But most of all, they all have contributed and still do with their presence and their work to my process of developing Somatic Dialogue and writing the book about it. For me it is an organic connection to write about them, and what they mean to me and to this work.

As for Katrin and Steffen (jogakatrinkohler.cz) you can find them here in Prague and also in our studio where they give workshops for everyone as well as for couples. Their work last weekend reminded me of the heart work.  In Somatic Dialogue we often talk about Muhabbet, the space where love can flow, within the body as well as in the space or between two bodies or more. It is the loving approach, the non-judgemental… the approach that listens, where one feels how the love can flow in one’s body while moving and dancing. And often I have heard Katrin talk about this love after some workshops or improvisations. She is a heart person, and therefore their love together with Steffen, that they have for each other and for their work, communicates to everyone else.

I was nourished on Saturday and was reunited with Yoga of the heart. Working with the heart can be hard sometimes, and it is, as we are not able to understand, and need to accept only. And I guess this is one of the hardest things in our process work.

But oh boy! How rewarding it is, after the hard work comes light, comes beauty, and the eyes open, the ears hear, our voice settles and silence becomes a good friend. Feeling empty is not scary anymore.

Let’s listen to the heart

Let’s give it space

Let’s open the heart’s eyes

to the beauties that are in us and surround us…

Till we meet again..

Hard work, right?

🤍